Pack Like a Horder, Travel Like a Boss

Packing for a long trip? Well, my fellow pack-rats, gather 'round because I've got some "expert" tips on how to pack like, well, a true pack-rat.


Let's face it; we can't leave anything behind, can we? We're all about stuffing our bags to the brim with all the things, even if we don't end up using half of them. So, here's how to pack like a pro (or not) for a long trip, the pack-rat way:

  1. Create a Never-Ending List

Before you even think about packing, make an exhaustive list. List everything you need, everything you think you might need, and everything you just might want to look at during your trip. Remember, it's not about what you'll use; it's about what you could possibly use. We're aiming for excess here!

  1. Choose the Luggage of Your Dreams (and Nightmares)

For a pack-rat, size matters! Go for the biggest suitcase you can find, one that's practically a mobile storage unit. Wheels? Nah, who needs 'em when you can pump those biceps lifting your enormous bag? Plus, opt for the one with the broken zipper; it adds to the adventure!

  1. Forget Packing Cubes; Go for Packing Chaos

Packing cubes? Pfft! Those are for amateurs. Embrace the glorious mess. Stuff your clothes in with all the grace of a tornado. The more wrinkles, the better; it's a fashion statement, after all!

  1. Fold, Roll, Bundle, Repeat

Who said you have to choose between folding and rolling? Do both! And while you're at it, bundle your clothes into tight, unrecognizable bundles. It's like a clothing origami experiment gone wild.

  1. Wear Your Entire Wardrobe

Why bother with a suitcase when you can wear all your clothes at once? Layer up like a fashion-forward onion. Your fellow passengers will admire your dedication to style, and you'll save on baggage fees—win-win!

  1. Pack Your Toiletries in Gallon-Sized Containers

Travel-sized bottles? Nah, go big or go home! Your toiletries should rival the size of your suitcase. Who cares if you're carrying half a gallon of shampoo? It's an opportunity to work those arm muscles.

  1. Bring a Carry-On Galaxy

One carry-on? That's for minimalists. For us pack-rats, it's all about the carry-on galaxy. Bring a rolling suitcase, a backpack, a duffel bag, and a tote. You're basically a traveling department store.

  1. Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse

When packing for a long trip, it's essential to be prepared for everything, including a zombie apocalypse. Pack canned goods, a tent, and a crossbow—you know, just in case. Safety first!

Now, for some extra pack-rat wisdom:

  • Embrace Wardrobe Chaos: Forget versatility; bring all your clothes, and who cares if they don't match?
  • Layers? More Like Layers on Layers: Because when it's cold, you'll wear all the layers at once.
  • Travel Adapter, Schmavel Schmadapter: Live on the edge and hope your gadgets miraculously work overseas.
  • First-Aid Kit? Call 911: Why pack a first-aid kit when you can call an ambulance for a papercut?
  • No Space Left Behind: Remember, every nook and cranny of your suitcase deserves to be filled, even if it's with pebbles from a random beach.

By following these pack-rat-approved tips, you'll become a packing legend (or a cautionary tale) for your next never-ending trip. You'll have it all, and then some, because, hey, you never know when you might need that rusty spoon you've been lugging around for years.